October 4, 2012

If all fails….Give up….The good way (*wink*)

Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the smartest choice is giving up.

I don’t think that giving up should be my primary method for dealing with problems. But there are certainly a lot of cases where it just seems to be the most intelligent answer.

The more I stop trying to force things to happen, the more they just seem to sort themselves out. The more I let things happen, the less time I spend trying to make them happen.

Giving up is really about honoring my feelings. It’s about giving up trying to force myself into all that should be. It more of embracing my true self.

So here’s an invitation to…

• Give up trying to be cool.

• Give up wanting to be a famous musician, artist, architect, thinker, writer, whatever-it-is. Maybe it’s smarter to make your purpose to have an impact, instead.

• Give up wanting to be different for the sake of being unique.

• Give up trying to be perfect.

• Give up keeping relationships with people you don’t really like.

• Give up trying to be the center of attention.

• Give up trying to be important.
• Give up achieving a lot of ego-driven goals.

• Give up trying to be super-focused. Sometimes the most compelling ideas come from the most messy, unexpected sources.

• Give up trying to popular.

• Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life.

• Give up trying to have a perfectly organized workspace and a zero inbox.

With that said, there are a lot of ways we think we’re doing good, but we’re really not.

It makes more sense to......
• Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful.
• Give up needing a reason to share your love. Being alive is reason enough.

• Give up trying to be everything to everyone.

• Give up caring about being the smartest, best and fastest. At least don’t let your ego get caught up in it.

• Give up caring about “being a man” or “being a woman.” Or doing what is expected of your gender.

• Give up sacrificing your life for an expensive degree that makes you feel important.

• Give up trying to be ultra productive, especially if productivity is making you miserable.

• Give up caring about having a respectable job, a respectable resume, and a respectable life.
• Give up trying to constantly improve yourself. Sometimes too much self improvement can cause you to lose sight of the present.

• Give up caring about doing what works.

• Give up thinking you don’t have the time or skills to make your dreams a reality.

• Give up caring about knowing everything in advance before you take action. Put yourself on auto-response instead.

• Give up trying to always find interesting experiences and interesting things to do. Alternatively, be interesting and be interested.

• Give up trying to live up to the expectation of your parents, your friends, your boss, and peers.

• Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself.

• Give up trying to have a flawless body, perfect face, or an impeccable wardrobe. Care more about beautifying your mind and being a person who takes beautiful actions.

Trying to make things happen all the time creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It’s stressful trying to deny what is.

When I give up, I accept life as it is. No strings attached. No wishing things were different. If an action needs to be taken, I take it. But I’ve given up letting my happiness be dependent on a thing.
Most of these problems only exist within our minds. They’re not real physical problems; they’re simply psychic, imagined obstacles.

It’s interesting how we seem to have so many problems, so many dilemmas. But most of the time the answer to solving them is actually doing nothing.

February 3, 2012

The Waking Point In One's Life (Self-Realization)

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always happy endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to newworlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn to go with your instincts. You stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. And that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working towards making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.You learn that negative feelings such as anger, ego, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility that comes to you.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

April 5, 2011

Quite Significant

Relationships with others are a mirror of how we are relating to ourself.

If you have a pattern of attracting men who want you sexually, but don’t love you, then the simple solution is to start asking yourself what this mirrors inside of you.

Do you like yourself superficially, but deep inside question your value and lovability?

Valuing your core self is really loving yourself completely reflects that love and respect for yourself.

Question to one's self.: What do you see in the mirror?

February 14, 2011

Life never forgets to give us second chances

Its Valentine's day today and I decided to post this entry. Who knows, it might help one or two people out there coping what life has thrown to them?

Do you have to be a someone big or famous to receive a second chance--or third chance or millionth chance--from life? No. Life has a second chance for anyone who needs it, including you.

All of us have made mistakes in life for which we repent a lot.The words "if's" and "but's" comes into the mind.If I would have done this, this would have happened but now this has happened.Maybe you've failed at something in life, and you think that dream is lost. Right now I'm pretty sure I am on my 47th or 48th chance. Or is it 348th chance?
I lost track about 30 years ago--well life and God doesn't keep score either.

Whether it's marriage, a job, a relationship, or your finances, life and God hasn't given up on you. it will be alright and you will heal and you will be guided you into the purpose life has for you. It only takes little faith from inside of you.

Life will give you every tool and circumstance you need to accomplish what He has set out for you. BELIEVE.

Your life isn't wrecked for good like how you think it is. The most loving, powerful being in the universe wants to heal it, and He does have the power and creativity to do just that.

Will you say "yes" today to second chances that await you?

Ciao & Happy Valentine's day

February 9, 2011

God answers each and every one of our prayer in a very different manner, some He says Yes and some He says No. Are we willing to accept the No?

This is the second entry for the year which I am writing to myself. It's a little reminder why things don't go my way. It's a little reminder there is a virtue called patience. It's a little reminder, let go and relax. It's a little reminder to be grateful for the little things we have been blessed with.

I read this article recently. I am sure some of you out there would have read it as well. I guess we need a little reminder here and there to reminding us that it's for the best how situations turn out. It turns out maybe God is answering our prayers in a very different way that's why some of the situations don't favour us. It's up to us to aceept when he says a NO, its plain and simple, its a big NO. That doesn't mean He doesn't have his back-up plan for us. It's really to test our patience, how long can we wait until we get something in return.

“It seems like God never answers my prayers,” I may say. “He never does what I want.”

Maybe God is answering my prayers; he’s simply saying no. Or maybe he’s saying it’s not the right time. Or maybe he’s saying, “I’m not going to remove that obstacle until you change your attitude and quit complaining about it.” Make some simple adjustments, and you will see things begin to improve.
I thank God that he didn’t answer some of my prayers, because sometimes what I thought was the best for me wasn’t the best at all. Nevertheless, if you push and manipulate, trying to make things happen, God will sometimes let you have your way—and you will have to learn his lessons the hard way.

I’ve seen people jump into a relationship or a business deal that they didn’t feel good about, but they wanted it so badly. God is a gentleman. If you insist, he will back off and let you do things your way. Most of the time when we do that, though, we end up settling for second best. This is the best lesson I have learnt so far. We don't deserve second best. Why settle for second best when He wants to give you the best? The trick here is that patience is going to test you every second.

If events are not happening as quickly as you would like, or if you are not seeing circumstances change in your favor, open your grip on the situation; relax and learn to trust God. Know this: God is on your side. He is not trying to hold you back.

I believe one of the best prayers that we could ever pray is “God, not my will, but your will be done.” “God, open up the right doors and close the wrong doors.” If you will stay open to His direction, and follow your heart, God will protect you.

I’ve learned that when my prayers aren’t being answered, or when things aren’t happening as fast as I would like, that either means that God is protecting me from danger up ahead, it’s not the right time, or God has something better in store.

Too often, we’re shortsighted. We can see only a little ways down the road, and even that we see through a glass dimly. God, though, can see the big picture. He knows when something is going to be a dead end. He knows when someone is going to be a distraction that will hinder us from our destiny.

Some of the things might frustrated me right now, 10 years from now I will look back at and thank God for not answering that prayer the way I wanted or for not opening up that door. I may not be able to see it right now, but that’s what faith is all about. Why don’t I trust God? Believe that He has me in the palm of his hand and know that when it comes time for God to open a door, no man can keep it shut. No obstacle is too high. No situation will remain the same forever. Your enemies may be powerful, but God is all-powerful. When God says it’s time to promote you, you are going to be promoted. The good news is that your promotion will not be one second late. Suddenly, God can turn any situation around. Suddenly, God can cause a door to open. All it takes is one touch of God’s favor.

The question is, "How patient will I be?"

January 11, 2011

An article written to myself for 2011

This new year wish is abit late but hey we are still embracing the new year.
Its never too late to wish everyone out there a blessed 2011.
Actually I was trying to get an appropriate new year wish to blog about.
And yes, i finally got my inspiration for this new year entry.

2010 just whizzed us by. In a split second, here we are toasting at Christmas parties and the next thing you know it, you are toasting at a New Year party.

Time is really passing us by.
Don't hope for a better year, hope for a better you. Its time to take the lessons learnt throughout 2010.
Deep down we all wish for a good excellent year, I mean there is nothing wrong with it. But wouldn't it better if each of us decided to be in control of whether we have a good year or not.

When I think about the past, I seem to only remember the sad ones. I have excellent good memories but somehow I guess my brains are programmed in some way just to remember the bad ones, well that’s in my case. And if in your case, you remember the happy ones, than good for you.

After all that has happened in 2010, I should learn to wish for a better me rather than a better year. I should wish that I will rise to greater heights.
Simply because someone is not going to pay my wage if I don’t earn it. It’s the same, the world, the universe is not going to give me a good life, if i don’t start to be a better me, to be more grateful and be more positive.

Most of the things in life are how we see them. Simple things – like whether we like a song, or even whether if we like a particular person or whether we like the food – are all up to us.
In truth, we have to make our own meaning of things. We decide if we are confident, we decide the way our life turns out. I don’t need the world to tell me who I am, I decide who I want to be. I choose to be the positive one when times are gloomy, so here in 2011, I choose to be happy. This article is being written keeping in mind for those who need to come out their shell of what has been clouding them all this while.

As the saying goes, it’s easier said than done. But somehow when I think about it inside, when am I going to start remembering the good happy memories I have. Shouldn’t I be done with remembering my past? I have to start somwhere and I guess it’s this year.

My only wish this year will be that I will have the ability to be a better me.

P.S.: By the way, I am done with my resolutions. No making them. Just going to be very spontaneous, that would make life abit more interesting right.


December 15, 2010

Roses Of Life - Howard Goodman

I've dreamed many dreams that never came true,
I've seen them vanish at dawn.
But I've realized enough of my dreams, thank God,
To make me want to dream on.
I've prayed many prayers , when no answer came,
Though i waited so patient and long,
But answers came to enough of my prayers,
To make me keep praying on.
I've trusted many a friend who failed,
And left me to weep alone,
But I've found enough of my friends,
to be true.
To make keep trusting on.
I've sown many seeds that fell by the way,
For the birds to feed upon.
But I've held enough sheaves in my hands
To make me keep sowing on.
I've drained the cup pf disappoint and pain,
And gone many days without a song,
But I've sipped enough nectar from the roses of life,
To make me want to live on.